Introduction
Forgiveness is one of the most misunderstood commands in the Christian life. We all know we should forgive, but what does that actually mean? Does it mean forgetting the pain? Pretending nothing happened? Or waiting until we feel ready?
The Bible gives us a clear and freeing picture of forgiveness—one that isn’t driven by emotion but by obedience, truth, and love. Let’s look at some of the most common misconceptions about forgiveness and what Scripture says about each.
1. “It’s hypocritical to forgive when you don’t feel like it.”
Many people think that forgiveness must come from a genuine feeling of love and warmth. But that’s a misconception.
Forgiveness is not a feeling—it’s an act of obedience.
“If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him.” — Luke 17:3
We can’t command our feelings, but we can command our actions. God calls us to forgive as an act of obedient service (John 13:17; James 1:25). Feelings often follow obedience.
Here’s what Jesus taught about forgiveness:
- Forgiveness is a decision of the will, not the emotions.
- It must be granted when someone repents (Luke 17:3–4a).
- It must be granted repeatedly, even on the same day (Luke 17:4b).
- It’s not how much faith you have, but whom your faith is in that enables forgiveness (Luke 17:5–6; John 16:9).
- Forgiveness is a matter of obedience, not emotional readiness (Matthew 6:14–15).
Forgiveness begins with a willing attitude.
Even when someone doesn’t repent, the believer is called to an attitude of forgiveness (Colossians 3:13).
This doesn’t mean announcing forgiveness prematurely—it means guarding your heart from bitterness.
Jesus modeled this on the cross:
“Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” — Luke 23:34
And Stephen echoed it as he was being stoned (Acts 7:60).
Forgiveness begins in the heart long before reconciliation happens.
2. “To forgive, I must forget.”
This is another common misunderstanding. The Bible never commands us to forget before we forgive.
Forgiving is active—forgetting is passive.
Forgetting often happens naturally after we forgive, because forgiveness means choosing not to remember the offense or hold it against the person anymore.
“I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions for My own sake, and I will not remember your sins.” — Isaiah 43:25
God doesn’t suffer from amnesia; He makes a covenant choice not to recall our sins against us (Jeremiah 31:34).
When we forgive, we follow His example—releasing the offense and refusing to dwell on it.
Forgiveness doesn’t erase memory, but it removes the sting of bitterness that memory carries.
3. “Forgiveness means excusing sin.”
This misconception is especially dangerous because it distorts the holiness of God.
Forgiveness never minimizes sin—it acknowledges it fully.
Excusing sin is a way of pretending it’s not serious. But biblical forgiveness faces sin honestly, viewing it as God does.
God’s forgiveness came at a great cost—the shed blood of Jesus Christ.
“Without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness of sins.” — Hebrews 9:22
When we minimize sin, we also minimize the cross. We don’t forgive because the offense is okay; we forgive because Christ paid for it (Colossians 3:13).
Excusing sin leads to a loss of hope for the sinner, because it removes the opportunity for repentance and a clear conscience. Forgiveness, however, offers real hope, rooted in truth and grace.
Conclusion: Forgiveness That Reflects the Cross
True forgiveness is not based on feelings, forgetting, or excusing sin. It’s an act of the will—an obedience rooted in the grace we’ve received through Jesus Christ.
When we forgive as God forgave us, we reflect the gospel itself.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean pretending the pain never happened—it means trusting that the cross of Christ is big enough to cover it.
“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” — Colossians 3:13
Stand Firm! 
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